Thursday, July 27, 2006

Two posts in one day! I thought I would try this again.

Thursday Threesome

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Onesome: You can't always get what you want- Have you ever wanted something really badly and had it fall through, only to look back later and realize that things ended up better for it?

I had a hard time thinking of something! I must lead a charmed life. Either that, or I don't want very many things. But then it hit me; my story being published in Chicken Soup. I can't say that I wanted it badly - I didn't, until they accepted it, and then I couldn't wait to see it in print. But they blew me off without even a courtesy email. I was very upset. Later I didn't care as much because I am glad I didn't sell them all rights. I would never sell all rights to my work at this point. And now it was published by the Freeman, which I much prefer! So things wound up better all around.

While I was writing this, I realized that there was something else. It was the promotion at my job as an administrator in 1998. I didn't even get an interview, even though I had worked there almost a decade, was the best qualified candidate, and had done the job on an interim basis for no extra salary for a year! And I was asked to interview one of the candidates! Wow! I guess I don't lead a charmed life after all. But since that awful experience wound up shoving me out the door (with a near "F you" to my nemesis-boss who will remain anonymous) and into school full-time; two short years later I had the PhD in hand; eight years later I have published more than I could have imagined, and have six years experience as a faculty member under my belt...well, I guess you could say, yes, things ended up better for it that time too.

Twosome: But if you try sometimes- Is there anything you you've ever wanted so badly that you were willing to give up on other things while you tried to get/save up for the one big thing?

Sure, but it wasn't a material possession. I wanted to be published, so I gave up a lot of wasted TV watching time to pursue that goal. I wanted my education, so I gave up all sorts of things: literally years of social events, TV, pleasure reading, sleep, money...

Threesome: Well you just might find you get what you need- Most of us have been at spots in our lives where what we want and what we need are not always the same thing. Money's tight and that new toy you want isn't going to happen because you need to get the brakes on the car repaired or you need textbooks for school. What have you really, really wanted, but you had to give up because of practicality? And did you ever figure out how to have both the want and the need?

You know, I really can't think of anything. I just don't have a lot of interest in material things; I am able to get pretty much anything I want. And other things I want, say an achievement of some sort, I go after and don't give up. Sure, there are things that I have really wanted that didn't happen, but it wasn't in my control, and that's the way life is. For instance, I really wanted Rudy to live longer. I did everything I could - but it was not meant to be. "If love could have saved him, he would still be alive." Sniff.

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