I don't want to let any more time pass before noting that March 1 was the eighth anniversary of Uncle Bud's death (hard to believe) and the 24th anniversary of the founding of Gully Brook Press.

Semester's end is rapidly approaching. Spring is here. In coming days, I will have time to write here. Yay.

 Today is the 23rd anniversary of this blog and the seventh anniversary of Uncle Bud's death. Last night I had a dream with a "glimpse" of my father and Sam. I suspect the reason, which I won't share right now, or maybe ever.

I've been doing some thinking about whether writing publicly (as in a blog or on social media) is empowering or stifling. This is a question I remember being extensively discussed on blogs 20+ years ago. I could argue "empowering" because I have managed to keep this e-journal for over 22 years -- something I was never able to do in the days of handwritten or typed "private" journals (scare quotes because sometimes it was an assignment, read by a teacher or professor). I could also argue "stifling," because I absolutely self-censor, even though I have never tried to promote this blog and so the audience is small.

On social media, Bob has decided to be brave and make some political posts about Kennedy. I think it is admirable, even though I cannot do much more than click "like." I have PTSD from my days on the village board. People were so rude. To maintain peace, I can't engage in a lot of discourse. His shares have resulted in the blue-no-matter-who crowd commenting, in what I perceive as an effort to get him to delete posts and shut up.

An outrage on the news is the daily coverage of Belmont -- the race is being held at Saratoga this year, due to construction. It was bad enough that Saratoga has added race days in recent years. Now we have to hear the constant media gushing even earlier this summer over what amounts to animal abuse, due to Belmont.

We saw the last of the ten movies that were nominated for best picture: the Killing of the Flower Moon. It was good, although a difficult story. I can now say with assurance that "Poor Things" was the worst of the ten -- in fact it was much worse than that, and no way should best actress or anything else have gone to it. It was nothing more than a creepy celebration of abuse, and that simple fact renders good performances or make up or whatever meaningless.

 Approaching the 22nd anniversary on Friday of this blog. Usually I forget to post something. Friday is also the sixth anniversary of Uncle Buddy's death. :-(

I'm trying to solve a blackboard-to-brightspace dilemma (converting my tools for peer and team assessment, something I've known was a problem for over a year) and a student dilemma (that I can't share, but I am feeling pissed). I'm also trying to (at least) match the number of posts I had last year, which is why I'm writing here more. End of semester looms. We fell back! Yay. I know the company line is to whine about standard time -- but not me. I feel normal again.

 I intended to post yesterday and note two things, but this is a busy week and time evaporated. First, yesterday was the fifth anniversary of Uncle Bud's death. How can that be? Next, it was the 21st anniversary of the founding of Gully Brook Press.

Last night I had another dream with my father in it. He was driving. My mother was in the passenger's seat. I was in the back seat. He was talking and looked to be about 80-85. At first we were driving on a road that traveled through a corn field, and then we were on 28A in West Shokan. We were late for dinner, and my father was quite annoyed by this. He narrowly avoided a head on collision, which did not disturb him at all, but really upset my mother. I was going through a roll of money, pulling out bills to make the ticket price ($15 each).

This was posted on a community page in Facebook because she lived in Olivebridge. I'm going to make an assumption she was a weekend resident, or perhaps she became year-round once the pandemic hit and remote work became common. I didn't know her, and I say RIP, but I did see the movie, which I absolutely despised. I love Meryl Streep, and her part was slightly more palatable, but I wouldn't call it her finest role. Otherwise, the story was dreadful, the main character was annoying and not a bit likeable, and I remember wishing I'd stopped watching after ten minutes rather than suffering through it. After I read the linked story, it reminded me of something I hated about the film: the usual fawning glorification of privileged people and their self-indulgent problems by Hollywood and publications such as the NYT and New Yorker, while simultaneously phony hand-wringing over social justice, equity, poverty, etc. Makes me want to puke.

Today is the 20 year anniversary of this blog. It is also four years since Uncle Bud died. And -- yesterday, my father was gone seven weeks. Years ago bloggers would write up reflections about sharing a journal online on the annual "blogaversary," and sometimes I did too. I wasn't consistent, and many years I forgot the milestone. I don't feel much like reflecting today, except to note that blogger has been an extremely stable free platform for keeping this journal.

 Omicron -- the media idiots confusion about how to pronounce it. "Dr. Jen" said "omicon" (all that botox must have reduced her mental capacity) and David Muir stumbled around trying to explain.

 This week I am uneasy. Two of my "friends" (I always use scare quotes when I am referring to the Facebook variety) have COVID-19. One is from high school. We were not "best" friends, but my hometown is not a big place, and we attended the same elementary school that fed into a larger centralized high school, so I have known this woman since Kindergarten. She has been married for many years, and this summer took a vacation to Florida to celebrate the milestone. She shared many pictures of their trip, then yesterday, she resurfaced after a couple of weeks' silence to report that she has had COVID for over two weeks. When I saw her beach sunset pictures, I thought it was unwise to take a holiday in the coronavirus capital of the nation, but since I don't engage in that sort of dialogue, I un-followed her. I had not done that before, because although I am aware she has views that conflict with mine, she is not in the habit of writing controversial, argumentative, or political posts. But, the post about being very sick generated many comments from others, some of whom are also my "friends." There was a variety of perspectives, and no one got into a fight, but someone asked if she was vaccinated, and another asked how she got it. She said she is not vaccinated, and that she thought she got it from her husband, who got it from the plane ride home. Then she was asked if she wore a mask on the plane, and she said, yes, except when they ate and drank, and also the plane was packed. Someone responded, I guess masks don't work. The original "friend" has always been a lovely person inside and out, and she did not engage, but that commenter, my "friend," and two other mutual "friends," all of whom attended school with me, make up what I call the idiot quartet. They have become quite conservative (and have married extremely right-wing men), have always been physically gorgeous, are mostly nice (some more than others), and they are hard-line true believers in their POV (religious, political, social). So, no vaccine under any circumstances, virus is overblown, conspiracy theorists make valid points, and I suspect if they succumbed they would say it was God's will, they are living true to their beliefs. Last night, bothered by the situation, I wondered if they would change if their child or grandchild was dangerously ill. Going back to getting it on the plane, that is the likely place, although depending on what they did on that celebratory vacation, given that it was in Florida and they were there for 2-3 weeks...but she would not go there. No doubt she & her husband will be first in line to endorse governor cretin should he manage to mount a campaign.

The other "friend" is someone I met more recently. She is a neighbor and acquaintance. I un-followed her a while ago because of political posts. She is as lefty as the idiot quartet is righty, one of those blue no matter who types, which to me is an equally ignorant perspective to the idiot quartet's. She got a breakthrough case, and was not as sick as my other "friend," but it wasn't fun for a few days. She blamed it on the waning effectiveness of the vaccine and her comorbidity (obesity), but then admits she had gotten lax in her behaviors (mask-wearing, distancing, gatherings). If you are wondering how I know either story, to pull off un-follow (not un-friend), one has to occasionally drop in and see what's up. That's what I did yesterday with the anti-vaxxer. The lefty neighbor I heard about through regular gossip, so I checked her page to confirm.

 

 I thought this year would be a banner year for posting here -- maybe not compared to those years when I wrote 200 or 300 times, but way more than in recent years. Now I'm not sure. I just don't feel like writing journal entries since Rosie died. Plus my schedule hardly allows the time. :-(

Semester nearly over (May 11) and then it will be grading hell.

Here is a dilemma. A couple days ago I read this on Facebook: "Tips is in need of a home.....We are here to help, all others will be deleted and banned.....We adopted 16 yr old Tula 10 yrs ago. She is a beautiful tiger striped cat with a very calm and timid personality. We are moving to SC this summer and there is no way we can bring her.. I'm looking for her to be the only pet as she deserves special attention in her late years. She has early stage of kidney disease with no meds required right now. Her numbers actually improved from last May. We will miss her terribly if we find good home , but believe it's in her best interest."

It is from Steve Caporizzo pet connection, he is a weatherman for the local ABC affiliate and an animal advocate. His page occasionally spins out of control, with followers judging and harshly criticizing pet owners who are seeking to re-home a pet. Sometimes the object of condemnation asks for the post to be deleted and takes drastic action with the unwanted animal. (Taking it to shelter, euthanasia…or maybe dropping it along the road*, choking it to death*…) The post quoted above would be a classic example. Steve deletes and bans anyone who comments negatively, and puts up a scolding post when it happens. He believes such dialogue does not help the needy animal, and of course he is correct. I don't join in because I can't stand the drama and also respect the page host's wishes. I really, really appreciate moderators who reduce or eliminate animosity in comments and try to facilitate a kind community. However, I also believe behavior such as the above quoted text deserves to be called out as unacceptable, immoral, and abusive, rather than normalized or condoned with a shrug that all is relative.

So here's my dilemma. Not whether to join or start a slugfest (I wouldn't, and it would get me banned anyway) but whether to unfollow Steve? I hate to do that, as I might be able to help someday (and in 1995, I adopted Rudy - a MHHS puppy who was on Pet Connection), but reading such posts greatly upsets me. The subject isn't of the "just scroll by" variety. It hurts me to know that such people are out there. At least I can share this here! Well -- move to SC, lowlife. NY surely doesn't need you.

Unrelated, except in the appalling behavior category: The media continues to hound the governor. I believe it is because of his requirement for police to create a plan by April. That lobby has risen up and will do whatever they can to try to bring him down.

 *Kidding, sort of

 

This is true: It is COLD and windy. I forgot...yesterday was GBP's 19th anniversary! And I didn't forget -- but didn't post here, Saturday was Rosie's ninth Gotcha Day.

 Happy New Year! I'm making this post because I want an increase in posting over last year - and this post does that!!

I finished grades in my classes. It is a big relief. It was the most difficult evaluation experience I have
ever had to do. Afterwards I made the mistake of reading evaluations in one of my classes. Very few
students bothered to do it, and the evaluations were fine overall, but one student who was motivated
enough to complete it wrote extremely mean comments. What drives some people to be cruel? And why do I let it bother me?

I am in grading hell this week - deadline is Sunday night. We were told many times to be flexible and empathetic to students (I always am - and don't need someone to tell me this), but apparently faculty don't deserve the same courtesy.

I saw on FB that Greyhound racing closing for good in Florida - HOORAY. Another good thing about the shutdown and new normal. I assume that means this season or year, not forever - wish it meant forever - but regardless good news. May they all find loving forever homes.

I don't know whether to believe the news about violence and unrest. Really? Does media just gin this stuff up? What about no shirt, no shoes, no service? Isn't that an infringement on rights? I think I was controlled more in the before time. I was a slave to my job. Others were a slave to materialism. I am more free now.

YAY. Semester is over. Now - all grades all the time, starting Monday.

In my last post, I focused on a man who called me a coward on social media - unprovoked. Today a
colleague was rude to me (in a private chat message) during a Zoom meeting. It was a coffee hour
meeting we are encouraged to attend. It is right before one of the classes I teach and I almost didn't go
because I had things to do, but decided I wanted to share something important if given the chance. I
really wrestled with sharing what I did - it wasn't easy to do, it was real and honest, and possibly
uncomfortable - but I was given the opportunity, so I did share. The private message I received was
beyond unkind and it made me realize why I usually avoid meetings, why I hesitate to contribute when I do attend, and why I am doing something I disdain - wishing for retirement. I guess the stress of the situation is getting to people, and I am an easy target. I shouldn't let it bother me - but it does. I
responded to him with "thanks, really appreciate being scolded by you. Why didn't you share your note with the whole group so everyone could bask in your kindness?" And he messaged back "I apologize." As if saying I'm sorry inoculates one from responsibility for being a jerk?

It's a beautiful day today and I feel pretty optimistic, but I made sure to comment on the journal I'm writing about something that bothered me yesterday. Here it is: "I am not sure whether this is related to the pandemic or restrictions in terms of my feelings, because I always obsess when someone is unkind or irrational, but I do believe the individual I am going to write about was being influenced by the "open it up" sentiment some have been expressing. Yesterday a man attacked me on Facebook for no reason. He called me a coward and said I do not deserve to be in office (I am a very low level practically a volunteer elected official). We were not engaged in a debate and I do not argue about politics or anything else on Facebook. He was mad about the postponed elections and commented on the reminder I posted about it on my public group. When I asked him who he was addressing (as a coward), the governor or BOE, he said me! Then proceeded to spin out of control. I have heard he isn't a nice person, he's an abusive philanderer and a drunk, but I have no clue why I would be a target. If I was a young man rather than a middle aged / oldish woman, I would beat him up for calling me that name!"