I have a cold! It's not Covid. I have not been sick since before the pandemic. I think the extreme heat and poor air quality are making it worse. 😒

Visited the cemetery yesterday. 😢😢😢😢😢
 

More about Friday's post: I typed the guy's name into google, and while clicking the funeral home obituary link does indeed result in a 404 error message, the Legacy link works fine. So -- no need for Wayback Machine, and asking for the deletion was even more "stupid criminal" foolish than I thought. I hope the case is solved and this forgotten soul gets the justice she deserves.

I love the mention of the Wayback Machine in this article! The unnamed family member did something quite stupid (and suspicious) in asking the funeral home to delete the obituary. This is a story that really piques my "detective" nature. More here.

June already. This is the third anniversary of George's death. Time goes by in a snap of your fingers.

I've been doing some thinking about whether writing publicly (as in a blog or on social media) is empowering or stifling. This is a question I remember being extensively discussed on blogs 20+ years ago. I could argue "empowering" because I have managed to keep this e-journal for over 22 years -- something I was never able to do in the days of handwritten or typed "private" journals (scare quotes because sometimes it was an assignment, read by a teacher or professor). I could also argue "stifling," because I absolutely self-censor, even though I have never tried to promote this blog and so the audience is small.

On social media, Bob has decided to be brave and make some political posts about Kennedy. I think it is admirable, even though I cannot do much more than click "like." I have PTSD from my days on the village board. People were so rude. To maintain peace, I can't engage in a lot of discourse. His shares have resulted in the blue-no-matter-who crowd commenting, in what I perceive as an effort to get him to delete posts and shut up.

An outrage on the news is the daily coverage of Belmont -- the race is being held at Saratoga this year, due to construction. It was bad enough that Saratoga has added race days in recent years. Now we have to hear the constant media gushing even earlier this summer over what amounts to animal abuse, due to Belmont.

We saw the last of the ten movies that were nominated for best picture: the Killing of the Flower Moon. It was good, although a difficult story. I can now say with assurance that "Poor Things" was the worst of the ten -- in fact it was much worse than that, and no way should best actress or anything else have gone to it. It was nothing more than a creepy celebration of abuse, and that simple fact renders good performances or make up or whatever meaningless.

The grades are in! YAY.

Today is the 9th anniversary of Donna's death.

I'm deeply emerged in grading. It's still early, but so far it is going OK. My biggest issue is that I am "broken" if I work intensely for more than six hours or so. That makes meeting the deadline (of Mother's Day!) much more stressful.

A few days ago, I had another brief dream with my father in it. This one felt more like a dream than ADC. He was young (maybe 45-50), talking continuously, telling stories. I sensed my mother may have been there too? Or maybe she was in the stories?

On Saturday, Bob & I went to the East Greenbush library and signed a petition for RFK Jr. to appear on the NYS ballot in November. 

Today, I am taking care of details related to the spring semester.

 Yesterday was a good day! Usually Thursdays are draining (long day), but yesterday was great. Whether my mood was helped by it being my last teaching day until the Fall semester or that my classes were engaged -- or maybe both, who knows. There are deadlines next week for students for some minor assignments and then it's a deep dive into grading.

This has been a tiring week. Classes end April 30, grades are due May 12, and so I had a huge amount to do, caused somewhat by 4/10 & 4/12, when I had to get my haircut and work on the taxes. (How dare you?) The good news for me is that there is light at the end of the tunnel: For the first time since 2001, I am not teaching in the summer. YAY.

While I surely don't agree with him on everything, I do on enough things to be motivated to vote, and I find the media opposition appalling. Here is my recruitment link. I'd stay home otherwise. Certainly not going to vote for the lying, misogynist grifter under any circumstanced, and I just cannot support the tired old leadership of (admittedly) the lesser of two evils candidate. Why are these two husks running?

Toward morning I had a vivid dream about my father. I would classify this one as an actual after death communication. I was sitting in a large bathroom. That's funny, because lamenting about going to the bathroom (the "Giuliano curse"), and bathroom humor were 100% my father. The room appeared to be in an unfinished log house. He was standing behind or in a cabinet. He was only visible from the waist up. I didn't recognize him at first. I thought, what is that man doing in here? Then it dawned on me that it was him and I started urgently repeating, while reaching my arms towards him, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" He was wearing the tee-shirt he has on in the photo below, although in the ADC he was younger; his hair was a little salt & pepper but mostly black, and he looked about 60 (in this photo he was in his early 70s). He was not wearing glasses. He looked right at me and spoke directly, saying "I have things to do." My father was often hilarious, but he could be deeply serious as well. It felt real, like I was not sleeping, and when I woke up, I had tears in my eyes. I wished the experience had not ended and that we could talk more. I wondered, am I keeping him from what he needs to do? Is our family's profound grief doing that? If so, I'm sorry. I can't help it. I miss him so.

 An earthquake, an aftershock today (I only felt the aftershock) and an eclipse on Monday! 

Mimmie died 31 years ago today. 😔

Easter was nice. My brother hosted a brunch. It was my first large (32), mostly indoor gathering since 2019 (or very early 2020). So much has happened since then. It's a good thing we live mostly not knowing what is coming.

 Three years ago today, the best dog I've ever had died. I've had many great dogs; the current three are awesome too and I love (and miss) them all, but Rosie was perfect in every way. RIP little tiny circus dog.

Bob and I have been watching all the Academy Award nominated movies - a bigger task now that they have increased Best Picture to ten. We have two left in that category. On Saturday during the snowstorm, we watched Poor Things. Neither of us was very impressed by it. I'll say that about the first 3/4 held my attention (then it seemed too long to me; Bob felt it "jumped the shard" when she went from naive to calculating). What irritated me was that it felt like an effort to normalize abuse. Abuse is not funny or cute. Hollywood usually is a proponent of cancel culture. The acting was fine, but about Bext Actress, ten minutes into the movie, all I could think of was this non-PC but apt scene.

 I guess because of my prior post, last night I had a dream with my father in it. He was talking fluently, and I was thrilled. He was eating ice cream. My mother was briefly in the dream too.

Today is March 13. In one month, it will be April 13, my father's birthday. He would be 97 this year. I miss him enormously every day, but his birthday and the approach of spring are incredibly hard. He loved the number 13 and his birthday.😭

I was feeling sort of unmotivated and "blue" yesterday (Thursday is my long teaching day). I didn't have a good attitude and negatively assumed my afternoon class would not be prepared (a team of four was presenting). What actually happened...they were amazing and did a really good job! 😊

Spring forward tomorrow. I hate it! 😟

Why can't we stay on Standard time year round?

 What an a-hole! Full disclosure, I don't know her at all, nor did she ever represent me, but I have met him and I live in the county.