I've had really bad problems with my feet since I was a teenager. It has to do with the metatarsals. I've had episodes of flare, and then periods of being pretty OK over the years. A podiatrist I went to made me orthotics that didn't work. An orthopedic surgeon said I'd need surgery someday, and to put it off as long as possible. I'm not big on the idea of surgery, NSAIDs and cortisone shots, anyway, and I've managed to remain active without those things. But, since that time I have been very careful about the shoes I wear. Always wide, always flat. For years I wore Chinese shoes, but my toes froze in the winter. Then flats became "in" and much easier to find, so I switched to Rockports and Easy Spirits. No $20/pair shoes for me. For the past several months it has been in flare again, especially in my left foot. My latest shoes, Easy Spirits, now hurt. I hate shopping, and shoe shopping is no different - even worse, because obnoxious sales clerks get all know-it-all-ish and act like I'm a moron when I tell them that a certain shoe won't be any good for me. I just can't break in a shoe like other people. If it hurts in the store, it will never be worn at home. And shoes cannot have any heel at all - they must be soft, even in the sole area - with no seams in bad places. Wide is mandatory. So I put off getting a new pair and now I am paying the price.

About a week ago, it worsened and now there are symptoms of neuropathy. Morton's Neuroma is what it's called, except that my heels bother me a bit, also. Even my wonderful slippers are no good.The ball of my foot feels strange, practically numb. That's not a really adequate description, though. When I explained it to Bob, he said, is it sort of like the feeling of having a blood pressure cuff on your arm? And that's it exactly. He has experience with thinking these sorts of things up because of his rheumatoid arthritis. I never had so much empathy, and before he got RA, I think he probably did not have as much for my condition.

Since 1998, when I started the residency for my doctoral degree, I have not been walking as much. I think my leg muscles weakened as a result, causing more stress on my feet. I have two pairs of sneakers - 15 year old Cherokees that I use to do yardwork, and new Nikes that I got for the treadmill. Neither were shoes I could wear long term, but I had to have something for those activities. Anyway, at the moment those are the only shoes I can wear at all. I've been forcing myself to do what needs doing - the alternative, laying around feeling sorry for myself, is not acceptable. I notice that when I get busy, the problem lessens. So, I did my gardening over the weekend, and today I got off my a-s, cleared off the porch, used the treadmill and did stretching exercises. I also did some reading on the subject, and I am going to start taking vitamins, and make some dietary adjustments. I am also learning a skilled relaxation technique, because stress is always a player in these things. Finally, I may give custom orthotics another try, and tonight - off to go shoe shopping....