I think, or at least I hope, that the stress is making people unkind. I write "I hope" not because I want
people to be unkind, but because people seem unkinder, and I hope COVID-19 fatigue is the reason,
so that in a few years when this is over, niceness returns. But maybe people have always been mean,
and my perception is off -- or stress from the virus isn't the cause of the current nasty -- or it won't "go
back" and become kinder. I don't know. I have been called a coward (by a resident of my village in a
Facebook comment), told to stop hogging the floor (by a senior colleague in a Zoom private chat
message), that bad Karma would get me (in a Facebook message) and a neighbor is sending
me aggressive texts. All except the Zoom chat were related to my village board seat - which I lost by
two votes on 9/15, after an excruciatingly executive order delayed election. I know many mean things
were said about me behind my back and various untruths were gossiped, but that's politics. It's ugly
even at the local level. I never said an unkind or untrue word about anyone (publicly that is; I certainly didn't hide my assessment of the opponents from close friends or family, LOL), I didn't even ask for a
recount. Everyone of these bullying incidents was direct - to my personal accounts. And the bad Karma
note and the texts are after the election is long over! I made peace with the loss immediately,
and have moved on. Why can't I be left alone?

I was SO IRRITATED at snarky TV-6 WRBG last night. They had a "news" report by anchors Ann McCloy & Greg Floyd  & reporter Briana Supardi that was downright harmful. I understand dissenting from the government, but I follow every virus-related State press conference and press release, and at no point was it remotely suggested that the State or localities could, would or should aggressively enforce the 10 person gathering limit on private residences. The Governor cajoles and pleads about the law, but only a fool doesn't "get" that it is intended to encourage good sense; it's positive public health messaging at a time when we are seeing a huge spike and health care is being taxed. It is the bully pulpit, which is so needed with the holidays and the temptation to ignore guidance and party hearty with family and friends and spark a super-spreader event. Floyd & McCloy & Supardi and some moron local law enforcement making statements about non-enforcement and Constitutionality (DUH!) are encouraging bad behavior and they are empowering cretins (who can be clearly seen posting in comments on their and other local media's Facebook pages). I am disgusted by the irresponsibility. #shameonyou

 

 

We had the most beautiful basil this summer, and yesterday we cut it because of the threat of frost. It was bittersweet - but the yield was 8 cups of pesto, and that is awesome! Simple recipe from NYT: 10 c basil, 10 cloves garlic, 10 T walnuts, 2.5 c parm cheese, 2.5 c olive oil.

 

I turned 59 two days ago! I can retire in 6 months - or at least t the end of Spring semester 2021, but probably won't. Still, the thought is there.

The universe has started to send me cartoons again! 

I am not really a "hugger." I know some people proudly proclaim they are, and this pandemic has sorely tested them because they can't randomly hug. I've thought about my preference for not hugging acquaintances and I've concluded it stems largely from Donna. She insisted on being hugged long and often, while she cried with happiness or sorrow. This may seem terrib;e of me, but I always felt there was more than a touch of manipulation in those hugs. I can write that, now that she is gone. Regardless, today is a day when I would joyfully hug others in relief and celebration, if there was no COVID risk.

The appalling new logo has gotten some media coverage. I plan to give my annual donation to an animal welfare organization instead, and when UAlbany calls to solicit me -- I will tell them so.

I am feeling annoyed and disgusted that the university that employees me (and awarded me two graduate degrees and a teaching award) adopted a new logo for sports without consulting faculty or staff - a fierce-looking Great Dane with cropped ears. I am so pissed that they are promoting barbaric animal cruelty. The old logo had cropped ears too - but the new look is more realistic and severe and vicious - and this was an opportunity to embrace humane cultural change! Most of Europe, the AVMA, and enlightened vets in the USA do not condone the practice, and even the old fashioned, elitist AKC no longer prevents natural dogs from being registered or participating in events. Sign a petition opposing the abusive logo.

I am also pissed about the idiots in other states, and the dopes in my own, who refuse to wear masks. The big social gatherings alarm me too. Jerks. I have always known a large number of people celebrate ignorance and resent smart people. Unfortunately it is so in-my-face right now. Idiocracy = accurate.

A long time since I have written here. Still drinking from the work fire hose of email with barely a moment to spare. New York is doing fine, slowly re-opening. However other states, the ones populated by a-holes with bad leaders are now surging. I have dark thoughts on this that I won't share right now. I am still afraid to eat inside a restaurant and do not plan to do so. On Tuesday I got a haircut after 4 months! When I taught toleration (I don't any more, which says a lot), this would have been an awesome source for discussion. I wish I was "important" enough to sign -- because it reflects my views exactly.

I finished grades in my classes. It is a big relief. It was the most difficult evaluation experience I have
ever had to do. Afterwards I made the mistake of reading evaluations in one of my classes. Very few
students bothered to do it, and the evaluations were fine overall, but one student who was motivated
enough to complete it wrote extremely mean comments. What drives some people to be cruel? And why do I let it bother me?

I am in grading hell this week - deadline is Sunday night. We were told many times to be flexible and empathetic to students (I always am - and don't need someone to tell me this), but apparently faculty don't deserve the same courtesy.

I saw on FB that Greyhound racing closing for good in Florida - HOORAY. Another good thing about the shutdown and new normal. I assume that means this season or year, not forever - wish it meant forever - but regardless good news. May they all find loving forever homes.

I don't know whether to believe the news about violence and unrest. Really? Does media just gin this stuff up? What about no shirt, no shoes, no service? Isn't that an infringement on rights? I think I was controlled more in the before time. I was a slave to my job. Others were a slave to materialism. I am more free now.

YAY. Semester is over. Now - all grades all the time, starting Monday.

In my last post, I focused on a man who called me a coward on social media - unprovoked. Today a
colleague was rude to me (in a private chat message) during a Zoom meeting. It was a coffee hour
meeting we are encouraged to attend. It is right before one of the classes I teach and I almost didn't go
because I had things to do, but decided I wanted to share something important if given the chance. I
really wrestled with sharing what I did - it wasn't easy to do, it was real and honest, and possibly
uncomfortable - but I was given the opportunity, so I did share. The private message I received was
beyond unkind and it made me realize why I usually avoid meetings, why I hesitate to contribute when I do attend, and why I am doing something I disdain - wishing for retirement. I guess the stress of the situation is getting to people, and I am an easy target. I shouldn't let it bother me - but it does. I
responded to him with "thanks, really appreciate being scolded by you. Why didn't you share your note with the whole group so everyone could bask in your kindness?" And he messaged back "I apologize." As if saying I'm sorry inoculates one from responsibility for being a jerk?

It's a beautiful day today and I feel pretty optimistic, but I made sure to comment on the journal I'm writing about something that bothered me yesterday. Here it is: "I am not sure whether this is related to the pandemic or restrictions in terms of my feelings, because I always obsess when someone is unkind or irrational, but I do believe the individual I am going to write about was being influenced by the "open it up" sentiment some have been expressing. Yesterday a man attacked me on Facebook for no reason. He called me a coward and said I do not deserve to be in office (I am a very low level practically a volunteer elected official). We were not engaged in a debate and I do not argue about politics or anything else on Facebook. He was mad about the postponed elections and commented on the reminder I posted about it on my public group. When I asked him who he was addressing (as a coward), the governor or BOE, he said me! Then proceeded to spin out of control. I have heard he isn't a nice person, he's an abusive philanderer and a drunk, but I have no clue why I would be a target. If I was a young man rather than a middle aged / oldish woman, I would beat him up for calling me that name!"

My next post from Cornell study: I wrote this yesterday but was using a tablet and think it did not save. I am upset that people are pushing to re-open. Not that I am unsympathetic to business and unemployment, but I'm scared people will be careless, not social distance, and we will have a spike in cases. People protesting! Really? Also ignorance on Facebook - blaming the left or the right. Why are people so petty? I thought we were all in this together.

I didn't write this as an entry (yet), but Facebook "friends" who take the appalling Darwinist view that the vulnerable should just die are held to the policy displayed in the cartoon below. It's better than a sleepless night, or a commenting argument. (Although I am so tempted to respond to their cold, hearless views by writing inspired by Scrooge ("are there no workhouses?," -- "wouldt you be offended if I took the similar position of asking why I should care about unemployed people with money problems? I have a good job. I have a cushion. I can work from home. Why didn't the struggling get a better education, find more secure jobs, and be smarter about saving money?") Of course I would never respond that way, it's just a fantasy.

On March 1 -- I meant to post that it was the 18th anniversary of this blog. I didn't, which is no surprise, given my infrequent posting in the past few years. The Village election was postponed (at this point, no new date set), which was also no surprise, because we are in the middle of a pandemic. It's excruciating - both the postponement (two opponents and my need to get going!) and the pandemic, which has changed everything. I'm OK, but this is a surreal time to say the least. I have wanted to journal, wondered what Elwyn wrote in 1918 (diary is not extant, or at least was not available for transcription). But, for whatever reason, I didn't write here or privately, then a few days ago, I joined this Cornell effort.

Here is my first post: At first my job felt like I was drinking from a fire hose, there were so many needs. Now it has settled into a boring routine, although about 1/4 of my students are struggling for one reason or another. I worry about my very elderly parents, I worry about my siblings and myself, since we are all (young-ish) seniors. I mourn having to skip all our loud, large family gathering, I don't like not being able to adopt a new cat after Teddy died (by now in normal times I think I would have). I can't stand the blame game, the finger pointing, all the political divisiveness. I notice many young (20s, 30s, 40s) people in the daily count of people who have tested positive. Are they essential workers I wonder, or selfish jers who are not staying home and social distancing? I am happy it has been cold, since I suspect warm temperatures would encourage people to go out & about rather than to social distance & stay home. Plus, I've discovered masks are pretty hot! I'm glad no one is flying and there is less driving, our environment needs the break. It alarms me on Facebook to see people discussing the rescheduling of travel plans -- really? Not only am I afraid to restart - to go out in public, I am too vulnerable - but hello! All this wasteful business and vacation flying helped to spread the virus (and BTW as I already mentioned, it damages the environment).I hope the pandemic changes us - makes us utilize technology instead of planes, causes us to work from home (The Greening of America was 40 years ago!!), be more flexible, more appreciative, less materialistic.

 

Inspired to make this by the Facebook group 518rainbowhunt

Today is Rosie's 8th Gotcha Day!!

In other news...the professor who has the room after me is a rude b*tch. OMG, talk about "micro-aggression." This is just plain aggression. She was so mean today. She's been mean to me before, but today she was mean to one of my students!

Although I would like to get another cat right away, Rosie is old, and we have to be mindful of what is best for her. I know something perfect will come along eventually.

A very sad time. Our Ted passed away suddenly on Sunday. He must have had a stroke in the night. He was nearly 15, the best cat ever. RIP sweet Teddy.

I reviewed the rosters for my spring semester classes and one of them has more students with unpronounceable first names than I've ever had in a class of 25. As someone with a name that is routinely misspelled and / or mispronounced, I completely "get" the need to be sensitive. It's common to have some students with unique or unfamiliar names in class, but this list isn't mostly international students, or simply parents choosing clever phonetic spelling or culturally inspired monikers. Something must have been going on twenty years ago. Maybe it was the impact of the millennium or hanging chads or 9/11. Really hoping several save me when I am stumbling over Jxldyrr and Zjnlee by suggesting I call them Jo and Zee.

Happy New Year! Didn't want to let January slide by without making a post. I've had several thoughts about things to write since my last post, but then never actually logged on and composed. The one that comes to mind right now: we watched two movies within the past few weeks. First, was Eat, Pray, Love. I can't believe we'd never seen it before. It is new to Netflix (I think) and it caught my attention in an email. It was entertaining (I guess) but also annoying. Why do we celebrate shallow things and act as if they are actually deep? The second is a fairly new movie, The Mule. Also entertaining, but seriously? Clint Eastwood is the star and yay to him still working, but why - even when a senior actress is cast in the role of his ex-wife - is there still a ridiculous gap in age - and she is the sickly, dying character?

Bob turned 60 a couple weeks ago. We always go to the movies for his birthday, because he likes going to a movie theatre. In the age of streaming I could skip it. Anyway, we couldn't make going to the theatre work for various reasons, so bought the Eastwood movie streaming on Amazon instead. I promised a rain check!